Writer's block

Life is full of imbalance. Often this lack of balance works against me. One example of this is the strange relationship between the work I do and the unpleasant things I have to deal with when collecting a cheque.

People demand all kinds of things when you work for them. They want you to be punctual when they are not, to be professional when they are not and to go beyond your job description time and again.

And yet . . . AND YET . . . When the work is over and it's time for you to collect your salary, everything is different.

Never mind that it's an amount that we agreed upon according to conditions that were discussed. Somehow it seems to grow to an unreasonable sum now that the job is over. Hard work, late hours and miracles performed are all forgotten. Now, somehow it is difficult to pick up a pen, write a figure and sign one's name.

The first part that really boggles my mind is the fact that it often takes several days to several weeks for companies to write a cheque. I can think of no reasonable explanation for this.

Millionaires make millions earning interest from the money they have yet paid out.

What's most upsetting about this is that these people who take a month to fill out a sheet of paper smaller than the amount of toilet paper used in a typical sitting; these same folks, call at the last minute, want complicated work done very quickly and demand results instantly.

The second bit of irritation comes from the way many people and companies do their best to make it seem like my cheque is a favor, as though I'm asking for something. The not-so-subtle message from everyone from the receptionist to the accountant to the manager is: "Oh you want your money hey? What, you need it now? You can't survive without money hey?"

No, as a matter of fact I can't. I need money to pay for the things that makes it possible for me to eat live and produce instant results at the last minute.

I understand that this is the way that reality often functions. The strong oppress the weak, the people with the money keep it.

This sort of attitude and behavior is a good example of the most evil form of this often corrupt system - moderate oppression.

The message is not spelled out but it's clear: "Your labour is not as good as my money. You are not as good as me. I will rush you if I please then take my time to pay you. In fact, I will make paying out money a low-priority in general".

As long as we accept and perpetuate this Might makes Right attitude we will live in a world where we are suffering or causing suffering.

For my part I have found that firm policies are the best method of avoiding this. It is often hard since, as a moderate method of oppression most of us tolerate it and thus encourage it.

In some ways I'm thankful for it. Because if people had not made it so unpleasant to collect my money I would probably still be working a 9-5, content to be a good little worker and not question the iron fist in the velvet glove. Instead I wake up every day intent on my independence and my freedom. I wish the same to you all.

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Are Girls Stupid II

I tried to put it in the comments but my comment was too long and I did not feel like breaking it up. So here is my belated response to the strong comments received for the original.

Woohoo! Thanks to everybody who took the time to comment. A few follow-up points:

1. When I said I need to address the whole gender I did not mean that every girl *ahem* woman, was guilty. I meant that it is a problem big enough for the whole gender to take notice.

2. To address the anonymous commenter who started with, "Ok fellas are you . . . " please note the following:
a. "I would suggest, albeit gently, that maybe, just maybe, you are all looking in the wrong places, like a BAR or a CLUB or a PARTY!"Perhaps I am looking in the wrong places. I don't get out so much. I was speaking about girls I've spoken to in the following places: colleges, art shows, charity events, press conferences, church functions, weddings, funerals and other parties. I have tried my luck with managers, administrators, writers, lawyers and so on. And in most cases the conversation depends on me and is about the same tired topics. I have a great time in situations where people's opinions are different than mine so I think you are totally wrong on the point that I should expect to be challenged. I'm kind of waiting on that.
b. The kitchen comment was retarded. I will address such comments later. That was not in the spirit of my blog and did not match my intentions.
c. Your comment that I should stop griping is based on the assumption that you are right. But you have not spend much time as a man talking to women. So while I appreciate your advice I'm not as convinced that you are correct since your answer does not match my experience.
d. "Blog on something that really matters?" Okay you have set a neat little trap for yourself here. First of all, it's my blog and I'll write about anything that tickles the hair on my toes. Second, my topics have included: Government, Why I wanted Obama to win, a four-part series on racism and WHETHER GOD COULD BE A WOMAN. But which one did you write a six-paragraph response to? This one. The one that MATTERED to you. Scoff.

3. Vytal! Thanks for going there. Always appreciate your feedback.
a. Again I was not saying the whole gender was this way but that the whole gender should take note of it. I handled that point clumsily which was stupid since it was such an important point.
b. "Perhaps this subtle difference is the key. You're writing about girls; I write on behalf of women."
I hear your point about girls and women. I meant girls in the way we use guys, informally. I disagree with you here though because I have met plenty of 'women' who are successful, strong-willed and powerful that still talk about crap.
c. "Could it be that some females have come to believe, through socialization, experience, or simple bad judgment, that their brains aren't valued. . . "
I addressed the point that men don't respect intelligence in women. But that is no excuse. Most men also want women to earn less and some of us want to force them to cover up from head to toe. Men liking something is no reason for women to do or not do something. And that's my main point. I believe it's a vicious cycle. I'm doing my best to stop it and I want some damn help from the smart women.
d. "As a lace-wearing, rose-scented, cooking, baking, skirt-wearing feminist, I eagerly anticipate the upcoming blog on feminism representing man-morphism"
The feminism blog is coming. But I want to get on to some less gender-splitting topics first, with it being my return and all.
e. Thanks most of all for the welcome. Sorry I returned to obscurity right after. I'm trying to reclaim my weekends and make time for this cathartic writing.

4. Leah, greetings! Welcome.
a. Again I point to the fact that I did not mean to say the whole gender was stupid as you can read above.
b. "The blog in itself is stupid." I don't mind you saying that it is stupid but you did not say why. I have addressed the points made by Anonymous and Vytal and if you feel that does not answer it then let me know what I've left out.

5. Amp, Hail. Appreciate the welcome. You always present a point of view I had not considered. In fact you seem to look in a whole different direction.
a. I agree that the those who commented chose, in general, to address the most superficial parts of my claim. I think I have some responsibility for this as I was very aggressive, mostly because I wanted to make people feel enough to comment. It did get comments but not much thoughts or respect. It's really good to hear you say it thought.
b. "Do you know how hard it is to be the conversation initiator.. for every topic?"
I definitely feel you on the initiator aspect. So many times the responsibility is left to us. It's tiring and demoralizing.
c. I agree with all your points, if to varying degrees. The point for me was to provide a place for people to be open about whet they have found to be the case and address it from a personal level and I think I was only about a third successful.

6. To the other males who made comments about blow-jobs and the kitchen and whatnot. You are not helping. If you are going to make an empty comment then you need to have the guts to put your name on it. You all really just made the women's point against me that this blog was all about girls being stupid and useful for sex only.

7. Since nearly everyone seemed to miss it, I'll say it again: "I would still prefer to talk to you than the dangly-part-having babblers." But because I talk to women more I'm going to criticize you more and make sure you don't fuck about. You are still underappreciated on planet Earth and I think a key to fixing that is for the males who want to talk to talk to the females who want to talk.

"There never will be complete equality until women themselves help to make laws and elect lawmakers."
—Susan B. Anthony

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Prayer of Humility

This is an adaptation of one of my favourite prayers. I did my best to remove the religion from it so that the maximum number of people could appreciate it. I think it's a great meditation.

I asked Life to take away my pain.
Life said no.
It is not for me to take away but for you to give it up.

I asked Life to grant me patience.
Life said no.
Patience comes from weathering troubles. It is not granted but learned.

I asked Life to give me happiness.
Life said no.
I give you blessings, happiness is up to you.

I asked Life to spare me pain.
Life said no.
Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and bring you closer to me.

I asked Life to make my handicapped child whole.
Life said no.
Her spirit is whole, her body is only temporary.

I asked Life to make my spirit grow.
Life said no.
You must grow on your own but I will prune you to help you grow.

I asked Life for all things that I might enjoy life.
Life said no.
I give you life that you might enjoy all things.

I asked Life to help me love others as much as I am loved.
Life said AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH, finally you have the idea.

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Are Girls Stupid?

Yeah I’m kinda wondering. I been looking for a while now and it seems there a few issues I gotta address to the whole gender.

Oh sure, there are smart girls, heroines even. But I’m talking now about the gender in general.

I mean, if you want to talk to a girl with the intention of getting sex that’s one thing. But that’s not really a conversation. It’s more of a negotiation, playful interaction but a meaningful exchange of ideas??????? I think no.

I realize we don’t really appreciate intelligent conversation from girls, we being the penis having section of the earth. We like girls’ bodies and faces but not so much when their lips move up and down.

Still, I have become numb looking for deep conversation. Sure, girlies babble this and that about how shallow we are and how we have nothing much to say beyond, “ME WANT SEX NOW”. But seriously, what are they willing to talk about? Oh wait, I know, I have a list right here. I did not try to make a list but after 10,000 times or so it sticks in your head. Let me share the topics with you my treasured readers:

Things that girls like to talk about:

1. Other people
2. Other people
3. Other people’s friends
4. People who know other people
5. What happened while I was away at school
6. What happened at work
7. Their appearance, including:Weight, Diet, Clothes, Shoes (Yes guys, it’s a separate category from clothes), Hair, Nails.
8. Why men suck
9. Why girls suck
10. What items are on sale
11. Random babble that on the surface sounds important but will have no relevance in 24 hours

Oh sure, it seems like a long list but when you think about it that’s one album with a bonus track. How many times can you listen to one album?

It’s like you have this big pack of your favourite CDs. When you bought this CD case you never thought you would have enough CDs to fill it. Now you do and you don’t want to hear any of em. They all sound the same. You try, you flip through to the end but nothing jumps out. So you flip back.

Eventually you grab one and stick it in the deck. It doesn’t sound bad but you aint bopping. If you are not careful you will tune it right out and pay more attention to the johnser asking you for dollar.

The thing about flirting or pre-sex conversation is that it’s only interesting when you are actually going to have sex. Otherwise it makes you want to hammer a pencil through your hand.

Is it so much to ask to talk about an idea or two? Current events? History? I mean I don’t want you to think I’m picky or some sort of snob. I’m open. Tell me about something that touched you. Talk to me about your favourite thing to do when you have free time. Saw a movie you liked? Tell me why you liked it. If one more girl giggles and says the words “I don’t know, I just liked it” I’m going to start a religion asking God to add a day to the menstrual cycle.

Don’t get me wrong ladies; I think guys are stupid too. But we often know when we are stupid and shallow. We are cool with that. Plus we are in charge. The fact that you have let us run over you for most of man’s existence on Earth would be cause for concern if I had two x chromosomes. What do you think girlies?

I’ll save the blog about how feminism usually means becoming a man thereby defeating the whole point for later. At least till the death threats from this one stop.

For now I’m just looking for a little talky talky. I go out in Nassau town. I try. I say hello. I’m sincere. And then I hit that moment of silence. I have stopped talking and am waiting to see if my words had any effect. Any response? Any thoughts inspired? Nada. I’m sure I can hear crickets. Just that indulgent smile and maybe a cheerful giggle accompanying the blank stare. “Would you like a little heheheh with a hint of nervous indulgence Dsus?” NO!

I have learned to recognize this moment. This moment of stillness where their eyes glaze over and the embers of my hope are soaked to a wet, grey ash. TSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

And of course there are the girls who ask questions they don’t really want an answer to. Wow, lots of blogging material on this topic.

The thing is I’m not greedy. I’m not even that clever really. But I am willing to take a risk. I’m willing to be wrong or to look stupid. Reason being that if you don’t try, WHAT’S THE EFFIN POINT???????????

Is it really so hard to make an effort to connect? Not just to babble but to care about someone’s ideas for 30 seconds? To be interested in what makes a person think? Who knows. . . . You might have fun.

I can usually make it happen if I try. Get a thought or two out. But I’m growing weary of making the effort, of taking the plunge. So I don’t so much anymore.

It’s cool though girls. I love you still. I would still prefer to talk to you than the dangly-part-having babblers. Just don’t tell me that you are looking for some deep, meaningful thing unless you really mean it. In fact, I find that when a girl says deep it’s usually a reference to pockets.

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Yes Massa!

Lots of people talk about how black people are still enslaved and slavery did not end. I find this issue often divides people strongly; those who think we are all still in shackles even if they are not made of metal and those who wish black people would realize that times have changed and just move forward.

In this blog, we are going to move beyond race and talk about class because as much as the world hates black people it hates poor people even more.

I happen to think we are all still slaves for many, many reasons, the biggest one being that we all love being slaves. But Today I'm going to talk about one in particular. That one is the assumed relationship of boss and employee.

Nothing lets me know that I am still a yard nigger like the process of getting and maintaining a job in this imbalanced system.

I was recently applying for a job. I was required to give a lot of personal information, including:

My birth date
Where I went to school
Where I have worked

They also required copies of:

My academic qualifications
My birth certificate
Medical certificate of health,
My police record
My national insurance card, and
Three reference letters

Collecting this gaggle of info and paying to collect this gaggle of info is difficult when you are on vacation much less when you are already working or hustling to get a job.

And why the imbalance? If this were an equal exchange I think I should be entitled to at least the following information:

Information about the average students they had graduated
A statement of the institution's financial health
Examples of the benefits they offered
Three reference letters from happy employees

Right from the start it's out of balance, with all the power on their side.

"Please suh mista big comp'ny suh. Please could I haves a job. I know I don't deserves one but if I could just work for your wondaful comp'ny I sure I's could make you richer."

I went to an interview and was told I would hear back soon. Soon is a realtive term I suppose but that was over a month ago. I called and emailed only to be told they know nothing about the job or when any information will be available.

All too typical I'm afraid. The message is clear. "We can be as unprofessional as we like. We don't need you. If you want a job you can beg for one and wait like all the other suckers."

Of course, once you get the job the fun really starts. They don't tell you are a slave because they don't have to. Their actions make it very clear.

You don't notify them that you would like to take a day off, you ask for one.

If you do not dress, talk and act like everyone else in the office you will face consequences. The other employees will keep an eye on you as far as that's concerned, gotta make sure everyone matches like good little slaves.

Even though you are making an exchange of labor for money, your labor never seems to be worth as much as their money.

Some examples:

1. There are never as many checks and balances for the money and benefits they provide to you as there are for the benefits that you provide to them. In other words, they know exactly how much overtime they need from you when they need it but forget how much of it you worked when they have to pay you for it.

2. While you will be punished for being late and/or disorganized, they are often late and disorganized with the things that you need/want.

3. Your needs are ignored altogether or regarded as unimportant - Is one hour really all you need for lunch? Can you really get anything done in an hour? Has anyone ever been able to cash a cheque, buy food, eat and make it back to the office in an hour? Anyone? By the way, you are entitled by law to an extra 15 minutes of lunch on payday. Did they tell you that in the damn company handbook? Anyone? Anyone? You in the back with the neck shackles?

Looking at some of the habits it is easy to think they are accidental or mostly innocent. But it's easy to underestimate how damaging some of these assumptions are.

Because you assume some things, they don't even have to enforce them, leaving them free to claim their innocence.

Here's a typical scenario: You need a day off to go to the doctor. You don't really want to go to the doctor but you have to. Your sickness is in fact making it difficult to work and you know they are going to complain soon.

In addition you know that your boss always acts "a way" when you ask for a day off. Let's go through some of this process:

1. Nobody has cared that you are sick or that your work is more difficult because of your limited health. They expect the same output.

2. When you request the time off, you feel as though you are begging, as though you have to convince someone that you are, indeed, sick. Real sick too, the nearer death the better.

3. The boss only has to say something like, "So you want tomorrow off then?" with a little bit of doubt to make you rethink the value of your decision and try to figure out another way for the 100th time.

4. When you do get the time off it's treated as a gift instead of something that is necessary for you and by extension the company.

These sorts of cycles put employees in a difficult position. If they are honest about their needs they are made to feel inadequate, weak or needy. With the options being argue with/change the employer, get help from other employees or lie/steal from the company I think we all know which one most of us are going to choose.

There are so many layers of threat to the employees it is no wonder they are tense, miserable and unproductive. Some of the more common threats and punishments are:

1. Limiting your resources
2. Complaining about you and/or writing negative reports
3. Not giving you benefits you deserve - Day off, Overtime
4. Making your job more difficult by working against you or not working with you
5. Treating you differently until the other employees treat you differently

This is not all the fault of employers since many of us become the same kind of employer we hate when we move "up" in the work force. Instead it is proof that our system is flawed. Why is that I often wonder.

I think part of the answer is that the system was created by slave-owners and tyrants to milk the poorer classes of their life-force. And it's working better than ever.

Sadly, this blog is meant to shine a light on this problem rather than offer solutions. It will not be the last on this topic and with luck I will get some feedback from you on what to explore next.

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